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"Sean is an amazing person with an important message."
—President Bill Clinton
"Sean Stephenson is the Yoda of personal development, with less pointy ears."
—Jimmy Kimmel, host of ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live
"As we struggle with inertia to become the best that we can be, Sean Stephenson's book informs and inspires us to stand up and keep moving forward. Thank you, Sean, for your life, your work, and your abundant sharing."
—Ken Blanchard, coauthor, The One Minute Manager
"Sean Stephenson is a hero to me. When you read his book, he will be a hero to you as well. His moving stories about himself and others who have found the gifts in their pain will teach you so much about courage and, just as important, you will learn how to build your own sense of confidence when it comes to health, career, relationships, and more. Do yourself a favor read this book! "
—Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and Embracing Uncertainty
- Sales Rank: #169177 in Books
- Brand: Unknown
- Published on: 2009-04-20
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.30" h x 1.00" w x 6.40" l, .90 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 240 pages
- Get Off Your "But": How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself
Most helpful customer reviews
244 of 250 people found the following review helpful.
A Rare Gem of a Book
By M. L Lamendola
This book has endorsements from big names ranging from the business literature (Ken Blanchard) to the self-help gurus (Susan Jeffers). The back jacket has a quote from former President Bill Clinton ("Sean is an amazing person with an important message"). Tony Robbins wrote the Foreword.
At this point, I could probably end the review because when those movers and shakers recommend a book what more do you need to know? Just get the book. Ah, this is a "but" situation! "I could write a review but" with those endorsements from such successful people...." The "but" situations we encounter every day can have far more profound effects than missing the opportunity to review a book of this caliber.
Sean's style is one of encouraging and prodding, but he's not a rah-rah guy. He's a realist. According to brain researchers (see my other reviews of brain-related books), reality is largely what we make it. The brain filters and repackages information before the conscious mind sees it, largely based on preconceptions and what it "ought to" see. The brain is, essentially, a predictive computer and it will predict based on what it perceives rather than what it senses. That is, it makes its own reality. This fact has only recently been verified in the neuroscience field (physical brain studies) but has long been a fundamental premise on the motivational lecture circuit.
Why is Sean a realist instead of a cheerleader? After all, anyone who is successful on the lecture circuit has it made, right? Classic silver spoon, right? Not right.
Years ago, I learned about a rare disease thanks to the movie "Unbreakable" (came out in 2000, starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, and Robin Wright Penn). In this movie, Jackson's character (Elijah) has extremely brittle bones. The movie has several flashback scenes that give us insight into what Elijah's life was like growing up. The movie starts off with his birth; he's born with broken bones.
Sean has that rare disease, and was born with broken bones. His condition makes his life very complicated. He didn't come from a life of ease, but has had to overcome enormous obstacles. He's now a PhD and licensed psychotherapist. He's completing a second PhD (clinical hypnosis). He's an internationally known professional speaker.
And he's three feet tall.
Reading this book, I could not help but feel a strong connection with Sean. He comes across as a person who just wants to help others. He makes his message simple and clear, but at the same time he helps the reader dig into complex challenges.
This book consists of seven chapters, a foreword, an epilogue, and a resources area.
The Foreword by Tony Robbins was very touching and helped me understand what an amazing person the author is. As I have a high opinion of Tony Robbins (whose critics have been forced to eat crow due to discoveries in brain science over the past few years), his endorsement means a lot. He didn't just throw out a few platitudes and empty praises. He made a point of explaining why Sean's book is a "must read." Tony "brings to life" what he's saying, through specific examples.
Chapter One. Born to Kick But: The Short Story of a Big Life. This is an autobiographical sketch. Here, we learn about Sean's childhood, the challenges he faced, and the object lessons he learned. He introduces us to his core philosophy: cause and effect. It's not a new concept and thus it's not something he made up to attract an audience. I've understood this concept for a very long time, but Sean helped me see it with greater clarity.
Chapter Two. Lesson 1: Start Connecting. There's a huge difference between merely communicating and actually connecting with others. I'm not a fan of President Clinton, but the man is an expert on connecting with people. In this chapter, Sean lists "Ten things I learned about connection from President Bill Clinton." Sean knows Clinton personally, so this isn't an armchair observation kind of thing. This chapter has lots of great information for anyone frustrated with relationships (business or personal).
Chapter Three. Lesson 2: Watch What You Say to Yourself. This gets into the traditional inner dialogue stuff, but takes it up a notch or two. One of the things Sean communicates here is your word choices can have a transformational effect (or not, if they are poor choices).
Chapter Four. Lesson 3: Master Your Physical Confidence. You can usually spot a person who has self-esteem issues, can't you? And why is it some people seem to dominate a room, even if they aren't the best-looking, best-dressed, or loudest person in the room? Sean explains why and what you can do about that.
Chapter Five. Lesson 4: Focus Your Focus. As I type this, I have a painful thumb infection. Guess when it hurts the most? When I'm thinking about it! In this chapter, Sean delves into such things as changing your focus from what you don't have to what you can be thankful for. He talks about directing your mind toward what you want to achieve rather than letting your mental powers drown in a pity puddle.
Chapter Six. Lesson 5: Choose Your Friends Wisely. Sean uses the metaphor of a pit crew to illustrate the differences between A Friends, B Friends, and C Friends. He explains that you can choose your pit crew. Avoid the takers, drainers and destroyers. Re-channel that energy into cultivating real friends. Since there's confusion over what a real friend is, Sean makes this clear.
Chapter Seven. Lesson 6: Take Full Responsibility. Either you own your situations, or they own you. When they own you, it's not good. Sean has a simple formula for understanding how to be in control: C > E. That is, cause is greater than effect. He explains how this works and how it can liberate you. As mentioned earlier, Sean is a psychotherapist. If a client will not agree to work with this formula, Sean ends the session and refunds the client's money. That's how important this is.
Epilogue. One Last Thing.... As it's only one page, it's an epilogue rather than a chapter. It's Sean's final piece of wisdom for applying the lessons in the book.
Resources. Sean lists books and movies "that shaped my life." All of these titles are familiar to me. He also lists excellent online resources for various issues.
This book is not one you want to miss. Get your copy today. If you are thinking, "Yeah, but..." then you desperately need it. Don't delay.
67 of 73 people found the following review helpful.
"What can a Man who's 3-feet tall Teach you about Confidence?"
By Rich Litvin
Sean Stephenson faced the excruciating pain of almost 200 broken bones by the time he was just 18 years old, because of a condition called Brittle Bone Disease.
At 19 years old he had already achieved some amazing things but he was still unhealthy and aching for so much more in his life.
Then he met Tony Robbins who encouraged him to dream big.
REAL BIG.
Set TEN YEAR goals, said Tony.
So Sean did.
He set a goal to publish a book that changed people's lives and to have his own TV show by the time he was 29...
Sean turned 29 this year.
The same year his book was released AND he recorded his TV show "Three Foot Giant".
Get Off Your "But" - is an incredible book.
I work with people to help them build the confidence to achieve outrageous goals, so I know a thing or two about confidence. But I wrote notes on almost every page of this book. I loved it!
I've never written a book review on Amazon before - but I felt I had to today. The stories of both Sean's own life and that of his friends are truly inspirational. And the exercises really work.
I'll finish with a quote by the TV show host, Jimmy Kimmel:
"Sean Stephenson is the Yoda of personal development, with less pointy ears."
Oh, and some guy called Bill Clinton:
"Sean is an amazing person with an important message."
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Better than Tony Robbins
By Awgie
I have Lots of Self Help books, but this one was the most concise and honest. It's not about 30 different "issues" and doesn't plague you with five different "life experiences" to wade through for each point. The exercises are simply designed so you don't waste your time writing a personal "War and Peace". In the end, everything you get from this book can be extrapolated into ALL your life issues. You can either buy $600 in car mechanic tools to be able to fix your car should it break down OR $40 for duct tape, can of flat fixer, jumper cables, and a gallon gas can. Enough to get you to a garage for professionals to fix your car. Either way, you will have to take responsibility for getting the car rolling again if you want to go somewhere. That's the message, YOU just have to utilize it.
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